13. How to Balance Motherhood, Career & Bodybuilding While Building Confidence with Sarah Tilling

What does it take to build unstoppable confidence while balancing motherhood, a career, and bodybuilding? 

In this inspiring episode, Sky sits down with Sarah Tilling — a full-time mum of 3, stepmum of 2, full-time employee, and dedicated bodybuilder — to talk about resilience, mental strength, and redefining what’s possible.

Sarah opens up about her journey from battling severe acne and low self-esteem to stepping onto the bodybuilding stage, all while managing a household of five children and waking up at 3 AM for training before work.

Together, they unpack the reality of building confidence as an ongoing, imperfect practice and how true strength comes from showing up for yourself, even in life’s busiest seasons.

If you’ve ever questioned whether you can chase big goals while managing family, work, and personal challenges — this episode is your reminder that you absolutely can.

Connect with Sarah: @sarah85.fit

👉 Hit play, take the challenge at the end, and tag @skymareesteele on Instagram to share your thoughts.

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FREE 3-Day Masterclass: From People Pleaser to Powerhouse

Break free from the 'Nice Girl' rules, set strong boundaries, and reclaim your power to achieve meaningful results in 2025.

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Transcript

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Welcome to Confidence Unfiltered. I'm your host, sky Marie Steele, a clinical psychologist, business owner, A DHD, and recovering people pleaser. If you spent your life trying to keep everyone else happy while feeling like you're never quite enough, you are in the right place. Here we ditch the people pleasing, silence, the self-doubt, and have real unfiltered conversations about confidence, boundaries, and building a life that feels unapologetically yours. No fluff, no perfection, just raw, real talk to help you trust yourself, show up fully and own your dam power. Let's dive in. Welcome back to another episode of Confidence Unfiltered, the space where we ditch the masks, drop the rules, and talk all things confidence, courage, and doing life and business on your terms. So today I've got an incredible guest who is the definition of strength, not just physically, but mentally, emotionally, and unapologetically. She's a powerhouse woman who's no stranger to dealing with the hardship and pushing limits. But before we dive in, I will let her introduce herself. So can you tell us a bit about who you are, what lights you up, and a little bit about your journey? Sure. So my name's Sarah. I am a mom, full-time mom of three children. Also a dog mom, a supportive partner, and a stepmom to two other wonderful children, making our household a lively and dynamic environment with five children. Balancing a full-time job adds to the nature of daily life, creating a wild ride at times. In addition to family commitments, I'm passionate about bodybuilding. This is honestly a huge passion of mine, which means I do sacrifice

getting up at 3: 1:54

00 AM to go to the gym before work and fit my training in because of an afternoon. It's about managing the chaos of the children's schedule, and despite that, I wouldn't have it any other way.

I love that 3: 2:09

00 AM I'm like, I feel bad 'cause I'm still asleep and being a lazy butt. I wanna ask you, when you think about your journey with confidence, where did it all begin for you and was there a turning point for you where it kind of changed things? Yeah, so confidence has always sort of been a work in progress for me. As a teen, I struggled with my image as I suffered severe acne and I was called names at school. Plenty of different names, which made me very self-confident about my appearance. I was like obviously bullied profusely at high school because of that. I also suffered in my adulthood of acne and everything like that. I did reach out and seek help through psychology. To be able to help accept who I am and to not take on board others' opinions as the only opinion that should matter is my own, which helped me accept who I am. And basically, not only psychology helped me, but also joining a gym, hiring a coach helped me gain confidence within myself. Confidence is obviously something that I still work on daily, as do many people.'cause it is, it's such a hard thing, especially for women. And we honestly, we live in a world of judgment and what someone does or how someone appears is their way of getting through life and how they are comfortable and they have. The confidence to do that their way, and you never know what someone else is going through or how they get to where they are today. You are perfect, isn't someone else's. Perfect. Yeah, I love that. And I love how you said too that it's like, it's like a process. Like you don't actually get to a point where you're like, oh, I'm confident. It's like something that you action and work on because I think, yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. You never settle for being, you'll never be confident 24 7.'cause we're always gonna have a moment in life where we go, oh, I really don't like this, or I don't like this about myself today. But it's just about honestly reassuring yourself that you know what, it's okay to have those moments, but as long as you recognize that you have those moments. Yeah. And make it a moment. So you've competed in bodybuilding, and I know you've got another comp. You're in prep for comp, right? Yes. And this is like obviously a space where the world kind of demands discipline and resilience and a strong mindset. So how did that experience impact your confidence and your body image and your identity as a woman, like going through this journey of becoming a bodybuilder? Yeah, so I took the leap to do online coaching with a PT at the gym. That I was at at the time, which was great. And then I made the decision to move to another coach who put the idea of competing out there. And in all honesty, I thought she was crazy. Me stand on a stage in a bikini, that's never gonna happen. It was always the, I can't do this, I can't do that. That's not me. That always went through my head. And without the people around me that supported me and believed in me, I would never have grown the confidence that I do today. I did hours and hours of posing, cardio, five days a week, training sessions, and all the meal prep that goes in behind bodybuilding, all the strictness. You know, you sacrifice so much. Being a bodybuilder, my confidence grew. In back in 2020 is when I first competed with the ICN in the fitness and sports divisions, and I always said to myself that the biggest achievement will be me standing on the stage. That makes me a winner. I did place in all the divisions and even took out an overall sports title, which was not expected. Um, then I fell in love with the sport. I fell in love with embracing the changes of my body. I was always able to be a work in progress at Embracing Change, and it will always be a work in progress because it's. Yeah, it's never easy to change from going super-duper lean and you know, abs and then back to Fluffy. Well, my abs are gone again. That's hard. And it, it's hard for everyone, and a lot of people don't talk about that because they, obviously, it's, it's hard to talk about too. Let me tell you, basically I've competed nine times. This will be my 10th time this year. That's amazing. Last year was when I fell in love with my body and changes even more than ever. I changed coaches after eight years, and even though it was only for a short period of time with my third coach, it was the nutritional side of it all That helped me because I'd always suffered from stomach issues and everything like that. And then last year I competed in five, back to back shows, stepped into a new federation, so stepped completely outside of my comfort zone again. Yeah. Um, into the MBA and taking out two overall titles in the fitness model division, south coast and state, and then coming runner up to a pro. At the Nationals, and that was when I knew at that point I needed something more than what I had already. And basically I took the leap to reach out to another coach who I had already reached out to previously, and I never really had the confidence or comfortable in. Leaving a coach or anything like it was like breaking up with someone, right? And I'd inquired and I told him what I was after in a coach and we had a Zoom phone call and I knew after like our 30 minute zoom phone call that. What he had to offer was exactly what I needed. And I've been with my current coach for only six months and I've learned even more about myself and my body and learning to get uncomfortable. Um, it's hard and always will be, but I just embrace all stages of the journey. I. I love that. So, and I, I wanna bring in something that you said, but I'm gonna ask you the question. It says, have you ever caught yourself shrinking, people pleasing or playing small to make others comfortable? And what kind of helped you break that pattern? Yeah, so as a mom, I've sometimes found myself shrinking or people pleasing to keep the peace. And make others feel comfortable. What helped me break the pattern was recognizing the importance of setting boundaries and obviously self-care because that comes into so much as well, especially being a mom, prioritizing my own needs and communicating more openly. Learning that it's okay to assert myself and ask for support and that isn't easy. And that's something that I still work on daily because who wants to ask somebody for help? Let's be honest. Yeah, that's a good, um, and it's not only like improving my wellbeing, but also sets a positive example for the kids about the importance of balance and self-respect. Then you have the bodybuilding world where shrinking or playing small can be detrimental to so many things like progress, self-confidence I might have had held back to avoid drawing attention to myself, preferring to stay in my own lane and keep my endeavors to myself. Then I realized that this approach sometimes limited my growth and self-expression. Gradually sharing my journey and achievements. I found that it not only empowered me, but also inspired others. Embracing my passion openly allowed me to connect with like-minded individuals and build a supportive community, gain confidence to push past limits and excel, and the mindset sort of allowed me to embrace my own strengths and my own achievements. That's really cool.'cause we are so quick, I think to put ourselves down and to highlight what we don't do well or what our weaknesses are, that it actually takes a lot, doesn't it? To be like, oh my God, no. These are the things I do well and these are my strengths. Like that's hard. Absolutely. And I still go, I don't have strengths. I don't, I don't know. And then people sort of go reword it and go, oh, so what about this, about yourself? And it's like, oh yeah, I know that. Yep, yep. I've got really good strength there. Yeah. So that community's important. Absolutely. What's one belief you think about yourself or success that you've had to completely unlearn in order for you to step into your power? Like what was a belief that was holding you back before? Yeah, so I had to learn like thinking success was only for others. Mm. And not for me. I used to doubt my abilities, feel that certain achievements were way out of my reach. And I guess when I decided to challenge myself and pursue bodybuilding seriously, uh, the decision required me to push past my comfort zones and embrace new challenges. And obviously the support of my family and coaches. I learned trust. My capabilities and work towards my goals, through consistent effort and dedication discovered I could achieve more than I ever imagined, and the journey taught me success is attainable for anyone willing to put in the work and stay committed to something, and I guess reinforce the importance of believing in myself and my potential. Yeah, that's huge. So at the moment, like how do you navigate fear or doubt or judgment when it shows up? Obviously going after such big goals that I have for myself can be very scary. Yeah. And make me doubt myself. But I just remind myself that it's a personal journey. Mm. I focus on my own progress and remind myself that it's me against me. Which helps me stay calm and confident knowing like my path is unique and it's not shaped to what others need to think about me. Yeah, and obviously when I feel doubtful, I obviously lean on my inner strength. And the support of my family and my coach.'cause my coach is amazing there in that field. I can always sort of message him and just go, oh, this isn't working, or this isn't, he's like, Sarah, it's okay. Yeah. And obviously the encouragement from my family and my friends and my coach, it boosts my belief in myself and my abilities. And I set clear goals and break them into small, manageable steps, making the process more doable for me. Yeah, and I guess other people's judgments don't really bother me anymore because I know the journey is mine and mine alone, not somebody else's. And I face challenges and celebrate my own progress. Knowing each step forward is a win for me, but just keeping positive, focusing on growth and just handles the ob my obstacles with the strength that I have and my determination. I love that answer. So if a woman is listening right now and they're stuck in self-doubt or they're struggling to feel confident, like what would you tell her from an unfiltered truth? Like something that you just think they might need to know? Absolutely. So I know a lot of people struggle with so many different things of self-doubt and confidence and the rest of it. And the one thing I always tell. My friends, even my kids, is you are stronger than you think you are. Mm. Everyone has moments of doubt, but the feelings don't define you, and your progress is always yours. Lean on your inner strengths and support of those who care about you. Family, friends, mentors can all be great for your encouragement. And I guess one thing that. I've always struggled with, and that I do rely on from others is believing in yourself. Yeah. It's so hard for people to believe in themself, but honestly, it's what truly matters because if you don't believe in yourself, that just puts. You know, negativity in your mind of the whole, I can't do this, I can't do that. Just gotta stay positive and focus on your own personal growth because honestly, you've got the strength and the determination to overcome so much. Oh my gosh. Thank you so much for joining. I really, really appreciated having you on and having a chat. And thank you everyone to all the listeners for joining us for another episode of Confidence Unfiltered. Thank you. It was lovely joining you.