Ep 32 - How to ask better questions?

In today's episode, we challenge the conventional wisdom surrounding self-reflection by exploring the profound impact of the questions we ask ourselves. From dissecting the detrimental effects of negative self-talk to unveiling the liberating potential of solution-focused inquiry, we navigate the intricate landscape of our inner dialogue.

With refreshing candour and unyielding optimism, we debunk the myth of perfection and embrace the messy beauty of progress. Learn how to reframe your mindset, cultivate self-compassion, and ignite positive change in your life through the simple act of asking better questions.

So, if you're ready to break free from the shackles of self-doubt and chart a course toward a brighter future, tune in now and join the conversation. Your journey to self-discovery starts here.
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Need ADHD coaching support? Feel free to DM me on Instagram @adhdcoachsky for personalized assistance and guidance.

Together, let's navigate the journey towards managing ADHD and unlocking your full potential.

Transcript

0:03

Before we start today, I just want to let you know how proud I am of you for fucking choosing you and for stepping outside of that comfort zone and for doing something that will support you. Now, here's the thing about a reset challenge. You don't have to get it right and you don't have to do it perfect and you don't even have to do it in my fucking order. Like you get to do it your way. What's important is that you're actually actioning something for yourself towards a better future. Now, today's challenge is all about asking better questions. You know, if you paid attention to your stream of thoughts, you would notice. All day, every day, you are asking yourself questions. And here's the problem, or the great thing with our brain, is that it will always look for an answer. So if you're asking the wrong question, you're gonna get a really shitty answer. So for example, if you ask yourself, Why am I so fat? You're probably gonna get an answer like, Well, you're just fucking lazy. If you get asked the question of like, Why am I so dumb? You probably gotta get an answer alright, well, you're, you're just an idiot, you've always been one. If you ask a question around, like, why am I not good enough, you're gonna get, like, this list from your brain of all the reasons why you're not good enough. If you ask yourself the question about why do people always shit on me, Then you're also going to get a really shitty answer. Asking why questions, even though we feel like it's useful because we want to understand something can be super problematic because when leading ourself down a card and path of just utter bullshit, right? So what do I mean by better questions? So instead of why am I so fat? The question could be, what am I going to choose today to support me in feeling healthy? Instead of why am I not good enough? What am I going to do today to support me in feeling better about myself? Instead of why am I such an idiot? What about how can I support myself in setting boundaries so that I can build my self esteem? When we shift the questions from why to solution focused, we actually get a different outcome. You know, sit with it for a minute, right? Like if you sat there for a minute and you were like, why am I so fat? I'm just using that one because it used to be one of mine, right? Why am I so fat? And then you get caught up. Oh my God, I'm so lazy. And I'm, I should be doing this and I should be doing that. Sit with that feeling like it just, ugh, it feels yuck. And I guarantee you, it does not draw me towards the gym. It draws me towards fucking Tim Tams and wine, right? Like those questions don't support my growth. But when I sit there and if I just like, I don't know, do a shake for a minute. And then I ask this question of like, how am I going to support myself today? to feel healthier. And I went, Oh, I'm going to drink some water. I can, I'm going to focus on water today. Like that actually feels good. I feel more in control. I feel like I'm doing something about it. I feel positive. I get a dopamine hit. Cause like, you know, ticker box, I'm achieving, but it puts me in a different mental space. So that is your task for today is to just really check in the stream of questions that you're asking yourself. Even write them down if that serves a purpose, but only once. We only want the shitty ones showing up once, right? And then get super clear on, okay, so when this question comes up, what's a better question that I could ask when this question comes up? What's a better question than I can ask and write down the better questions, keep those and practice that on repeat. And then over a week, a month, a year, five years, Like, really pay attention to your growth and your mindset and how you feel. And I guarantee you that you are more likely to be moving in the direction that you want to go if you're asking yourself these better questions. And again, jump in the Facebook group, have a conversation with me about it. If you get stuck and you're like, I just don't know what to ask, reach out. That's what I'm for. Like, I would love to hear from you.